This week I’m running a road race with hopes of impressing my old college coach so that he’ll put me back on scholarship next fall when I return to college as I still have two years of eligibility left. I’ve been really excited and confident in myself until this weekend when my head began to fill with doubts.
Today I headed to the local bike path to do a workout, feeling sluggish and slow and down on myself for not training enough and probably getting slower. This kind of an attitude is particulary worrisome because running is approximately 10% physical and 90% mental.
As I was stretching my hamstrings after warming up, I looked down to a patch of clover in the grass and immediately spotted one with the elusive fourth leaf. I plucked the lucky specimen from the ground and gave a small smile. I felt a little pep in my step as I walked to a parking block to stretch my calves. Wouldn’t you know…an angelic orange and brown butterfly landed just to my left and rested peacefully for a good minute.
Normally, I think God talks so quietly that I could never hear him, but I got this message loud and clear. (I always was a visual learner!) It was like he was gently reminding me to believe in myself and be positive. Keep the faith!
God, thank you for this gift. Let me give all my glory to you.
My life is changing a lot this year, and my excitement keeps growing. But still, I get a little shy telling anyone because, honestly, I always think they will think I am crazy! Those fears are dissolving little by little as I receive more and more positive responses to my plan.
Still, I have been keeping one aspect of my plan a secret until it becomes official which it did on Thursday. We bought a second home! Our closing was rescheduled three times I think, and I was starting to wonder if the deal would ever go through. Cody took care of all the back and forth phone calls and logistics of our out of town purchase which I made me so thankful because I’ve been loaded down at work. Finally, the inspections, negotiations, apprasial, applications, and insurance came together and we could sign all our papers.
Now we will have a great place to live while I go back to school for my big career change without being totally uprooted from our hometown where all of our family lives. My mom is helping us out by moving into our first home while leaving us a room so we can come back on holidays and school breaks. Having her move in will help us so much so we won’t have to worry about an empty house or a checkbook stretched to the limit.
Our new house is a little brick two-story with old wooden windows and quite a few steps leading up to the front door from the road. We went to go look at it again after the signing, and Cody turned the wrong way on our new road which was a little sad because that next block was so pretty with all the trees blooming with pretty spring blossoms, but we have no trees by our house.
I said, “Oh no, this side is so much prettier!”
But Cody said, “Well, how about we just plant a tree in our yard?”
And I thought that was just the most perfect idea. :)
I’ve been a little low on super inspired blog topics and even lower on time to write out the mediocre ideas that I have managed to come up with, but I had a partially free night and scheduled in a few minutes in between my early evening meeting, workout, dinner, class and the later evening bills, lesson plans, bedtime routine to sit down and bang out a post to end my unfortunate weeklong hiatus from blogging. Two hours and one scattered, jumbled assortment of sentences later, I still got nothin’.
Therefore, I say it’s time to hang it up tonight. Maybe those ramblings will make more sense tomorrow. What do they say…you gotta know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em? Hey, you win some, you lose some, right? What other cliches can I throw at this blog post? I just have to remind myself that this little blog is still a diamond in the rough, but if I keep plugging away, it will start to shine. Gotta keep the faith!
Okay, this one was a big fat belly flop, but if I keep trying I think I can sneak in a few successful swan dives! Don’t let the sting of frustration keep you down. Take a break and come back at your goals tomorrow with a fresh attitude and renewed energy!
Go-go-go. That was me today. I had a full day at work, graded papers, stopped by the store, went to a meeting, made supper, and had my first class of the winter quarter.
Yep, I finally started taking classes again. Taking that leap is basically the first significant step toward exiting my current job which is an idea that only existed hypothetically in my secret, imaginary utopia in my head. Up until now, if ever asked about the topic, I would timidly respond with a weak answer about how I might go back to school or something. Now I can confidently say, “I am in the present tense enrolled in a class and am actively pursing an alternative career and proud to do so.” I don’t have to be resigned to living this sad way. I can change my condition. And, I am…right now!
I used to think I can’t until one day I thought I can, and someday I decided I will, but the best of all is saying I am.